Taken with my camera phone…
I shared lunch with my new friend Melissa today. It’s sad that she’s leaving to go to OSU in a few days:( just my luck!
Parenting Styles
I have a ton of friends (back home) that are of various ethnic backgrounds and we have fun mixing our cultures together and finding creative things for us to do, especially when we’re free of our husbands/boyfriends and kids. Anyway my friend, FG asked a really good question over our usual conference calls (all 6 of us talking at once is great!)Do families of color parent differently than Caucasian families? Hmmm…I never gave it much thought, but while I’m thinking about it I’d love to know your thoughts, so share with me pleaseeeeee!
Gossip at the water cooler
I’ve been employed with this company for a little over a month. I like the job, it doesn’t require much thought to it, which is always good. (I’m saving the space in my brain for school btw), and for the most part I’m in my own little world of bliss. That was until the paper thin walls gave way to the itches that talked about me today. Normally gossip doesn’t upset me. I like being the center of another persons universe because they simple don’t have a life of their own, but this is a place of business and it is not for anyone to talk about another employee.
Apparently the girls here aren’t all that thrilled with my new position because now they are required to do more than snack on cookies and google “Billy Ray Cyrus” all damn day long, for 8 hours straight. Now they must actually use their computers and college degree to earn a living and god forbid they have to walk over the fax machine and stand there for 2 whole minutes.
I learned a long time ago to sleep with one eye open when it comes to co-workers stabbing you in the back. This game of I-want-your-job has been played by generations of women. It’s sad because I think we should stick together and keep the guys at bay in order for us to succeed TOGETHER, that’s just not the case here. It’s perfectly okay with me, because I intend to do my job and do it well and the rest of the masses can, well…you know.
What I’ve been doing, because you care so much…
The few people that read me have asked why I’ve stopped blogging about school. Well, because all the paperwork and monies have been paid and now I’m just waiting. Happy now? Good.
I wish there was more that I can say about the subject, but for now it’s just a waiting game. I’m sure by now you all have seen the counter on my sidebar so you know it’s only 9 more days until I’m officially a college student (yay!)and then I’ll have lots to say about that.
While others may see going to school as a pain in the ass, but I view it as a vacation. I can get out of the house 2 times a week in the evening sans husband and kids. I’m making a ritual of going across the street to the coffee bar after class and listening to the live music, then going home after the kids fall asleep and studying for about 2 hours. Maybe during this time I’ll work some QT in for the hubby, but if I were him, I wouldn’t hold my breath…just kidding…or am I?
Fitting in or not
I miss being in high school. I miss how easy it was to find where you belong and form a circle of friends that stayed true to you until the very end of time. I moved to Cincinnati a few months ago. I researched the area and decided that I want to be in on the revamping of this beautiful city, and I am. I’m just doing it alone. I’m still feeling my way around and trying really hard to make a few friends. My biggest hurdle is trying to find out where exactly it is that I belong.
I’m a mother so naturally I start in that area. For the last few weeks I have learned that while I am a mother that is the only thing I have in common with some people. While they are chasing babies in their terrible twos or cleaning dirty behinds- I’m not. I have have an 8 year old and a 6 year old and I’m 25 freaking years old versus the mom in her late twenties early thirties. I got tired of the dirty looks I got so I headed on to the young professionals. There are the men and women who have just entered into their professionals are still persuing a higher education…great, right? I’m starting out in school and I just started a very interesting and demanding jobs so I’ll fit right in! I could not have been more wrong if I made an effort. I’m tired of getting the look that just yells ” we are so above you.” or the one that kills me the most ” you have 2 kids already?”
I’m not asking these people to borrow a kidney. I just want to go out for coffee or tea, to see a movie, maybe even have lunch or dinner, and an occasional night on the town sans husband and kids. I feel like I have a big sign posted on my ass that says warning this is a badddd woman! Seriously, what the fuck?
Because I can’t tell you what I ate for lunch
Did you know that exercising sucks? I mean like really bad. So much so that I have slacked off a great deal. I know that I shouldn’t but I hate moving around and it’s really time consuming and annoying. I so have other things to do like sit on my couch, although I prefer laying on it, and reading a good book (at least I’m not in front of the telly)! Seriously though, I’m working out- just not as much as I had hoped. I do an hour of some form of excerise a day and last night I did 40 minutes of yoga! Aren’t you proud???? Yes, you are! It was painful as hell, but that’s just because I’m short and bumpy, which just translates to being short and fat.
Oh by the way I got an email from my ex-beau (my child’s dad) who decided to remind me just how short and fat I am. He sent me a picture of who I presume to be his new love interest and she’s GORGEOUS. Am I jealous? Hell yea, and a little hurt. He stinks something awful. Only an ass wipe would be so cruel especially since we broke up OVER 5 YEARS ago. I’ve somehow convinced myself that he tortures me because he still wants me. It still hurts a lot though, because she is so pretty…it sucks to be me right now. I have self loathing issues. I’m heading over to Barnes and Nobel, I hear the self help section calling me again.
Hanging in there, nerves and all
I have to admit that once again I’m nervous as hell about going to college. I’m certain that I can handle the pressure, because let’s just face it, being married to a soldier who deploys to Iraq every other year, prepares you for such things. I’m just wondering if I can stick it out for the long run. I’ve done all the emergency preparations. I have 3 emergency backup babysitters, after school care programs that provide transportation just in case the babysitters can’t make it, and I’ve read just about every book related to adults going back to school and I still feel unprepared. What’s a girl to do? Get a mojito after work maybe? Yea, that sounds divine!
I was talking with my hubby last night and I’m not sure if he’s as supportive and I thought he was. He just kept finding reasons why I would fail instead of reassuring me that things would be fine. Sure, I like the fact that he loves me enough to be honest, but seriously he made me want to punch him. Violence is never the answer, but it would have felt so good.
I’ve been wondering if he’s been so pessimistic because WHEN I do succeed and become a lawyer, I will make more than him. Could it be resentment? I don’t want him to feel inadequate, but at the same time I don’t want to stop following my dreams so that his ego isn’t bruised. I’ve read blogs about women who are more successful than their spouse and it’s caused a lot of problems in their marriage. We have enough of that crap already, goodness knows I don’t want anymore. Any insight?
I’ve been anticipating this day. US News is revealing their top schools for the school year and I can’t even get online. My boss says that the site is going to crash because there are a million hits to that page a day. Damn it!
I’m eager to see if my favorite universities made the list. UC, UCONN, and UGA. I know the list doesn’t count for much in what the school is teaching and the opportunities that it has for the students, but I found a lot of valuable information that helped me decide which college/university I will attend once I’ve made it over the Community College hump. I like the co-ops that UC has to offer so I’m thinking of getting my bachelors there, and I hear that UGA has a great law school…I don’t know anyone that has
Rambling
I’m not a good writer. I don’t pretend to be. I actually have an opinion on EVERYTHING, but I find it very difficult to express myself. It’s something that I am working on. I say this because everyone is sending me email asking me to express myself more or telling me what I should blog about on MY BLOG! I would, but my life isn’t as interesting as you might think, and I feel like a baby just learning to talk when it comes to writing (and blogging). Give me time, I’ll get better. You guys already know that I have a husband, 2 kids, a job, and I’m about to have a really awesome education. That’s it, there’s nothing more…right now…wait, you should also know that I totally over use the comma. It’s like a security blanket for me.
You should also know that I’m not blogging to entertain anyone. I’m making a lot of changes in my life and I just want see them live and in front of me so that I can see the rewards of my hard work. I never thought that people would be so critical of me. Please don’t think that I give a rats ass, because I don’t. You will soon find out that my family are the only ones I let get to me…everyone else can bite me.
That’s all…gotta go have a life, or at least try to anyway.
Escape
I totally understand that once you become a wife and mother, your life is no longer your own. I get that, but does that mean that I can’t have at least 15 minutes alone? Hell, I can’t take a shower without hearing someone call my name, which has been changed to mommy and honey.
Since the kids went back to school today I thought that I could spend some time doing a few things for myself. On my list of things to do were, get a mani/pedi and pick up a non school related book. That was my plan. Instead I spent the morning shopping with Craig for a new cell phone, because he totally had to have my input. Once we got home, I couldn’t escape him and his new phone. So my day off turned into a lesson about how to really appreciate the Helio Heat. By the time the kids came home from school I was so frustrated that I just walked right out the front door. I only left for an hour, and I hate to admit it, but it was the best hour I’ve ever had. I got a cuppa tea and just sat at the park.
There are a few changes about to take place in my home. My family has to realize that I need some space and that it’s not the end of the world if I spend a few hours away from home…hell I’ll even settle for being in different room in the house.
Sweating…not so much!
I didn’t go to the gym today because it was so pretty out. The truth is that I really didn’t feel like doing anything, but I managed to take the kids to the park, which turned into a hike that lasted about 2 hours. Good Times! I appreciated the time with my kids, but I hated the hills so freaking much and there were so many!
So far this “diet” thing is going well. My only problem is food. The southern girl in me knows nothing but deep frying and lots and lots of butter (thanks grandma!). So I’m spending a great deal of time searching for healthy alternatives to my usual fudge covered brownies or my nutella cookies (Giada rocks!).
I have 30lbs to lose and I would really like to shed them before the family and I head out to NY to visit his son and ex-wife. I have to let her know that I’m the second greater wife! Seriously though I have major “issues” when it comes to her. She’s smart and pretty (not beautiful, just pretty) and just seems to have her ish together. I on the other hand feel inadequate when I’m in her presence, not to mention the in-laws like to bring her up every time I go to visit. This is why I live in the SF section of Barnes and Noble.
